sambousa…love guru unleshed++

love is for all ages 🙂

Sambousa’s take on love advice…behold:

So I decided to categorize my advice to suit lovers of all ages well start with the youngins’ and work our way to the old and crippled;

Ages 8 months to 3 years:
Its all about how you whine for your milk ,touching at this age is considered innocent and one of the major mutual attractions between the two. Remember you have a pacifier so use it wisely .(mothers are encouraged to read this out loud to their children because it will help develop their confidence and natural flirting abilities) remember work it with the diaper…pretend nothings stuck to your bottay

Ages 4 years to 10:
Physical violence is how you work your way to your man/woman. A casual pinch or slap here and there will send the right signals to your crush . However at this age it is crucial to avoid any other contact besides hitting because they are considered “cooties” and you will be made fun of by onlookers with the popular song: flan and flan sitting on a tree k.I.s.s.I.n.g …blah blah blah

Ages 11 to 15:
At this age, your hormones will begin to rage, sometimes you feel the urge to do something however sambousa advises you not to,try and maintain distance for the opposite sex and take your rage out on your parents (that’s what they’re there for) cutting yourself and smoking weed, pot or inhaling any other toxic “plant” will look “cool” but trust sambousa it aint’…..the key here is absentness

Ages 16 to 25:
Focus on your education………be a good girl/boy laman il na9eeyb iyeey

Ages 26 to 40:
Itha il na9eeb ma ya, its your free card to go wild. However I am not depriving you of all hope of you getting married I am just working with the usual known facts here…

Ages 45 to 55:
At this age depression is common, the marriage boat has sailed far far FAR away, and because at this age females reproductive organs have shut down entirely, adoption is the best option to fulfill your need for kids, at this age getting pets is also a very good cure for your chronic boredom and the filling the void , sambousa advises not to loose hope on your physique and still work out (with your pets),a casual sweat can be the musk of love to the single man working out next to you.

Ages 60+
Essential items to rock your love life when your 60:
1) a new set of fake teeth
2)undergoing hair transplant or the usual hairpiece/toupee
3)females: lip-gloss males: sexy cologne
4)lube…..and lots of it
5)urine sacks should be cleverly hid in rear pockets or a fashionable fanny pack

As Alzheimer kicks in at this age, limit your verbal communication and suffice by cuddling and gazing into each others eyes.

sambousa the love guru!
“if its not my advice you take,dont take any”

get out!!